how would i start such disappointment in the early of this midnight,
these might not look serious or should you care? for many people. But
they are exceptions for me at the mean time... i think..
how would you treat your yourself when you are officially became a responsible person for your country, at least ...you did?
by
buying urself a cake? making wif your honeylemon? go play for your
favourite game? celebrating surprise? or might be alone at your house?
viewing virtual life of the one u like? get along wif ur enemy? what?
jus go get some normal birthday celebration like others pls... give me a
break- fuck social life!
scenario goes here;-
1st,
i have a bunch of frens, and i just feel that its getting little by
little, at least by now. no comment for future. so, i decided to group
my frens in separated chart, and i found that i jus have 3 colours from
my chart, the last 1 were so called "others" which means different type
of frens tat really cant group together, i have alot of this, but almost
zero conversation btw me n others. okay, i was trying and make sure all
of my groups are all being treated fairly. and it should be long term
to forever frens i guess.. but someone just trying to giv me some little
technical problem almost every month, a new problem that i scratched my
head till memory full. i need more rams. like all computer does. those
problems never stops, maybe thinking too much? because i care, u sad i
care, i care when i sad too. come'on U JUST CANT PROPERLY LEVERAGE
EVERYTHING IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE, THERE IS ALWAYS SOME HELP YOU NEED TO
GET YOURSELF DONE. once again, fuck social!
now, is 21 an
important age for u? ask yourself, if it is yes!, please jus let it goes
naturally, since u will get more disappointment after this if you keep
thinking of it. again, fuck social life!, u might get it every year,
even 21st is still nothing for u. if no, u r a man!! i hope you can
grant my bday wish by giving me a lecture on how to tackle no bday
celebration by the one u hope but not the 1 u get. i might be the most
open-speech-attitude-goes-easily in ur mind. but im not as open minded
as you think, i also need to have a 21st nice bday celebration too.
yea!yea!yea! not everyone have the luck to cele bday every year like u,
just a year missing doesnt mean u will die. thats not the situation i
wish to face, i dont think u all cant make it. anyway, it just passed
for around 7days since my 24 september bday. did someone understand wat i
wan? wat i wish for? trying hardly to understand my kind of attitude
and the way to tackle me with a more comfort way? in the middle of any N
years ago, i jus realise something i think it is easy/wise/and simple
way to make everyone know wat u wan. yes i love mpv, y do i trying hard
to show and point the vehicle anywhere anytime to u? and i make used of
the mpv to create a small unrealistic story to 2 of my girlfrens n of
coz other boy frens tat might be interested of my mpv thingy, my point?
i hope i can create a topic for myself n u when we r quiet, boring...
and the best place is by picking any nice place when having tea session
that i knew the mpv would pass tru, so we can point it, making another
short stories btw us and even taking photo for myself n the car, haha...
at least we r smiling..then ill try to talk to u alot about ur things
and hope to understand more everytime we hang out, and know my thingy
too.. im doing sincerely, u might think i wan to know ur everything...
yes i know i failed my social test, fuck u!
wat a hilarious
surprise i received!, due to some problem, my class separated into 2
groups, me group and cs group accidently- jus misunderstanding, should
be gone well later this, let not put tis in our heart. wat i wan to
mention is, i received a hilarious surprise!!... extremely undefine for
me.. i receive bday wish from cs group all, but not my group.. (my group
n cs group will eventually back to a whole group sooner, i believe! i
have strong faith, facebook is making relationship a mess.) is tat
funny? zero wish from my group( from the way i feel), maybe theres some
MEgroup wishing me tru facebook, n i forget it, n my hp is also making
me losing contacts n msg randomly. another unexpected surprise was, im
receiving more bday wish from "others" section which im not too
concentrating on to MEgroup. becoz 21st is a very important year for me,
21 might not some special year for you, but for me it is a dif kind of
life for me like 100% full punishment based on the federal law of
malaysia if i did something wrong, went to casino n start my 1st lost or
win bet, at least it is another world tat ned to be stepped on, no one
will ever treat u and feed u totally. might jus because of my family
situation, i think it was a very important year for me to CHANGE as
obama said, else gonna late for bus later on... things are going fast
now! not like 70s 80s already.
they bought me a present, tat i
shoud be happy to receive it, but comes out to be a big disappointment..
no bday celebration?
我在帮每个人过个美好的sweet21,为什么我没有的？我不是跟ps说过了吗？为什么ps当我耳边风。。。 i hope to get a
sweet 21st memories instead of gift that would dissappear sooner later. i
will rather throw away the gift. AKY
不是说21很重要的吗？我一直都记得！！为什么我是那个被选中被弃哪位！！！！！！！我不明白！！我不明白！！为什么要逼我讲出来..这样人家会觉得我很
noob。。。
things goes badly in my september week, i pass my
regularly failed unit, but i jus never ever imagine i could fail math6!!
i kneel down, hand covering my face, tears started coming out. i cried
for 15 minutes, No! another year of delay? im trying to hypnotise
myself, jus a year of delay, u can work to gain experience for a year,
jus pushing the work infront for 1 year earlier. its some sort of
internal pressure H=u+pv, U=h-pv.. that no normal ppl can understand. my
thick wall started to break apart pushing out anger, disappointment,
fuck social!
i really canot cope with so many thing at
once,成绩又差，还以为生日可以弥补一下我的成绩，没想到会是这样，我的生日我很高兴！！我只为自己庆祝。在家！不错一下·我姐问我21做么没有出
去？我真的不知道要怎样回答她。。。很好的礼物！！
family the biggest pressure
frens the second biggest pressure
if
i were not born to here, i will not giving so much pressure and wasting
many money for my family, i started to save energy, always check that
only i think is well worth to buy only to buy. i started to see my frens
around spending money like drinking water, even eating long chocolate
bar a day, but i jus enough for a small biscuits for whole month. my
awkward feel started since ps buying album like non stop and freakingly
going singapore for another concert. if not my sis bought snsd album for
me.. i dont think i will be having snsd poster to stick on my wall. i
will think like this, insufficient money, watching from computer
everyday also can. Sometimes when my pocket money is empty like couldnt
survive for another outing, seriously..bank empty, ..something will jump
out infront of me. thats money! not from family... maybe theres some
sort of luck? or anything? giving me money to spend but its just enough
for normal living. another 2 or more outing will back to starting point
again~ so i would say rm50 for a month is acceptable for
me.我真的很担心我有没有钱,怕你闷我才陪你去k-wave，可以顺便看看4minute，还好我赚到一点。。看到你想看到找到你要的4minute，
我也替你很高兴！
sudden WILL- more friendship problems is good
for building stronger bonds btw frens and fore, i believe more argument
could bring us to a better future towards strong ionic bonds by trust
force. the problems is.. can we all think like this?
these post might seems to be over specified or over exaggerated by myself..
i
could not express the way i like infront of everyone due to some
reasons u might stop me, or telling me is not the way u think/ u think
wrongly/ y would u think like tis?/r u insane?/ u finding urself too
lousy or meaningless?/ u glv?/ wat is ur mind thinking?/tis ppl has too
many brains to think rubbish/ he is terified/
again, fuck social!
是我的生日在wrong day 我不怪你们。。。september对我来说永远都不是好日子。我写到这些东西出来，我真的很没有脸见你们。
